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Two guys come into the coffeehouse and "bully" Chandler and Ross, telling them never to come back to Central Perk again. Ross and Chandler avoid the coffeehouse for awhile, but eventually decide to confront their fears and the two bullies. As all four guys get ready to "settle things" with their fists, two robbers try to run off with the watches and keys the combatants have laid aside. Their common pursuit of the thieves brings them together and the bullies agree "everything's cool." Phoebe (with Rachel and Joey) goes to her dad's house again, determined to meet him. She is chased back to the car by a tiny, yet ferocious, dog, and decides it's still not the "right" time to meet her dad. Driving away, she accidentally runs over the dog. The vet fixes him up and when Phoebe returns it, she meets her step-mother and learns that her dad also abandoned this family a few years back. The nice thing is, Phoebe and her half-brother meet and do a little sibling bonding. Meanwhile, Monica gets hooked on the stock market and loses all her savings (one hundred and twenty seven dollars). Totally broke, she has to take a job in a theme restaurant where the staff wears costumes and lip synchs to cheesy pop tunes.

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Phoebe is surprised and disturbed by the ending of "Old Yeller." It turns out her mom used to not show her the ends of sad movies, to protect her from the emotional pain. Phoebe goes out and rents a whole bunch of them, and they cause her to develop a really cynical attitude. Monica persuades Joey and Chandler to take Richard to the Knicks game with them, and suddenly the three guys can't get enough of each other. Joey and Chandler want to be lust like Richard! Monica starts to get jealous and when she confronts them, Richard finds out that the guys see him as a "dad." And Ross is tired of missing Ben's "firsts," and decides he wants to spend more time with him. Carol and Susan think that's a great idea. Taking care of Ben prompts Ross to mention his future plans with Rachel (two kids, house in the burbs), which freaks her out. Eventually, she and Ross decide it's okay for the two of them to be in different places regarding the future. In the end, Ross misses Ben's first word (he says "hi" to Rachel), but is thrilled when Ben tells him "bye".

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Chandler has reached the end of his rope with Eddie and finally gets the guts to tell him to move out. Eddie says he will but, when Chandler returns from work the next day, Eddie is still around and acting as though he and Chandler never had their earlier conversation about HIM LEAVING!

Meanwhile, Joey tries to find work but has become pretty picky because of his time on DAYS. This would be okay-if he hadn't racked up a HUGE visa bill. Joey and Chandler join forces to solve their respective problems: Joey moves back in and he and Chandler pretend they don't know who Eddie is -- which works! Eddie goes away! And, Monica, Phoebe and Rachel read a new "Female Power" book which leaves Ross in the dust.

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In an interview in Soap Opera Digest, Joey mentions that he "writes a lot of his own lines" (meaning he changes a word here and there) which pisses off the writers, who write Joey out of the show by dropping him down an elevator shaft. Joey's too embarrassed to tell his friends, so they find out by watching the episode. They're disappointed he didn't tell them, but supportive that he will get another job soon. Meanwhile, Chandler realizes his new roommate, Eddie, is a complete psycho. He accuses Chandler of having sex with his ex-girlfriend and killing his fish, then steals the insoles from all of Chandler's shoes. And Phoebe lets it slip to Richard that Monica's been with a lot of guys. Richard tells Monica he only sleeps with women he loves, which means he loves Monica! She goes to the bathroom to get a condom and she and Rachel have to "flip" a condom to decide who gets the last one because Rachel (having made the mistake of mentioning "animal" sex with Paulo to Ross) is now about to have "animal" sex with Ross, and there's only one condom left! Rachel wins the toss but when the two women come out of the bathroom, they find the two men in a heated argument

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Joey and Chandler miss each other terribly but Chandler gets a new roommate, Eddie, after Ross and Rachel encourage him to "move on." Joey decides to ask Chandler if he can move back in but learns that Eddie has replaced him. And a producer has Phoebe record her 'Smelly Cat" song and make a video, but when Phoebe plays it for the gang, they realize it's clearly not Phoebe's voice. When Phoebe eventually figures this out, she feels sorry for the woman who sang because she doesn't get to have a video and Phoebe does. Meanwhile, Ross spends so much time at Rachel's, that he and Monica slip into their childhood bickering.

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Another DAYS OF OUR LIVES actor is moving to a new two-bedroom apartment and encourages Joey to take over his place. Chandler is stunned when Joey explains that he wants to move out on his own, now that he's 28 and making good money. They play a game of foosball to decide who gets to keep the table they bought together and Joey wins, but decides to leave it for Chandler anyway. Meanwhile, the Gellers have a party for Jack's birthday to which they invite Ross and Monica ... and (their friend) Dr. Burke, who is rumored to have a "twinkie" in the city. (The men at the party want to hear graphic details, especially Mr. Geller!) Dr. Burke (also known as Richard) and Monica eventually confess that Monica is the "twinkie." And Rachel and Phoebe are going to get tattooed; then Ross says he thinks tattoos are gross, which prompts Rachel to re-think it. Phoebe persuades her not to let "Ross be the boss," then Phoebe herself chickens out. Luckily, Ross is surprised to find that he thinks Rachel's tattoo is really sexy.

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Monica caters a party for Dr. Burke, an ophthalmologist friend of the Geller's, and the two really hit it off. They struggle a bit with the difference in their ages but decide to throw caution to the wind. And Joey's DAYS OF OUR LIVES contract gets picked up so he buys a big TV and some recliners for the apartment and he and Chandler never get out of them. Meanwhile, Ross and Rachel have their first date, at the end of which (during the kissing part) Rachel starts giggling. The next day she promises to make it up to Ross with a romantic dinner. But he gets called to the museum and has to work late and instead of disappointing Rachel, they have a picnic under the stars in the Planetarium, where they eventually get around to ... you know.

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